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Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

For all refugees from the old Beeb Food Boards :-)
Chill out and chat with the foodie community or swap top tips.
NOTE: CHATTERBOX IS IN THIS FORUM

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Uschi » Mon Oct 18, 2021 4:10 pm

Guten Tag and a happy anniversary to everyone who has/had one recently.

Image

OK, this is for a 40th anniversary, but hey, one can always aim high. :thumbsup

May you all eat many more gingerbread hearts until you've got to that number. :newhuggy

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Uschi » Mon Oct 18, 2021 4:15 pm

OK, found the other anniversary hamsters. No date on them.

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Stokey Sue » Mon Oct 18, 2021 4:28 pm

happy Anniversary Kacey!

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Kacey » Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:32 pm

Thanks Uschi, Sue and everyone. I've decided that a Silver Wedding anniversary may not be out of the question. 86 yrs old isn't too high to aim for these days!

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Uschi » Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:10 pm

Nope, that is reasonable!

A few days ago my aunt called and invited us to her 60th anniversary in November. She's 81 now.

As for Axel and me, we aren't even married. It used to be called "living in sin" or "living in a wild marriage".

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Kacey » Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:19 pm

Oh yes, living in sin! Sounds very boho and daring doesn't it? Living over the brush used to be common too. Must admit I always hating ticking the box that says 'cohabiting' rather than something more meaningful when you've lived with your soulmate for years and years.

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Suffs » Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:22 pm

We’re living in a wild marriage too Uschi :newhuggy

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby liketocook » Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:28 pm

It's "bidie-in" up here when you live together. :)

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby PatsyMFagan » Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:36 pm

RockyBVI wrote:[... ... One problem we have is that there is such a long lead time for furniture and we don't have a stick! We have managed to secure a bed and a mattress and we have a few garden chairs - which is all we need as a minimum! Thankfully, the fridge and washing machine are built in...


I know someone who has a large brand new sofa to sell .... Fiona (Fitsteps friend) sold her property about a year ago in Iver to move nearer to her daughter in Kent ... She quickly found a suitable house, all going well, so she ordered some furniture including the sofa as there was such a long lead in time ...

A year later; that first house fell through and so did the next 5 houses she found and offered on ... She has just moved into the 7th house only to find that the sofa is now far too big for it's place in the lounge ...... :roll: :roll: :roll:

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Uschi » Mon Oct 18, 2021 8:47 pm

My parents lived in sin from 1955 to 1960, when it was still illegal in Germany. They only could, because my father had managed to buy and restore a house near where I am now. Any landlord would have been obliged to report them or be complicit in the crime. :roll:
Unlike the relatives who got most upset about this, my parents did not have to marry, because there was a baby on the way. I came along three years after the wedding.

Patsy, that is very annoying.

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Stokey Sue » Mon Oct 18, 2021 9:12 pm

Cohabitation was neve criminalised in England, it was left to the church to police it, and I'm quite shocked to discover it was illegal in Germany in the second half or the 20th century, the things the state thinks they should interfere in are astonishing

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Uschi » Mon Oct 18, 2021 10:31 pm

Yes, it was a criminal offence until 1970. The Churches here have a much stronger hold on politics and law than in Britain.

Mind you, Socialist East Germany dropped the offence only two years earlier.

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby scullion » Mon Oct 18, 2021 11:31 pm

we have been 'living without a licence' for about forty years.
i think over 25% of all couples are now cohabiting - not considered such a sin maybe?
if we married tomorrow it would be a surprise if we got to our twenty fifth anniversary!

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Earthmaiden » Mon Oct 18, 2021 11:41 pm

Stokey Sue wrote: the things the state thinks they should interfere in are astonishing

Surely the main reason that marriage was so important was that any resulting children of a married couple would be legitimate which meant the father could more easily be held responsible for the upkeep of the child. Thus the State took a keen interest so that they didn't have to fork out (and it was all conveniently tied up with religious morals in the way we are aware) for a fatherless child. An illegitimate child and the question of who would support it was still a big issue right up until the 1990s when the way society worked, changed.

I was fascinated, when looking through some old court records from the area of Scotland my ancestors are from in the 1700s, to see that every other case was regarding getting some chap to pay for the result of his romp (and there were often full details of where the romping took place!). Whilst no-one would wish the unmarried mother and child of today to suffer as previous generations did, it does cost the State quite a bit these days.

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby aero280 » Tue Oct 19, 2021 12:04 am

In the "olden days" it wasn't so much the State that supported any unmarried woman and child, it was the parish that she was born in that had that burden. Which was effectively all your childhood friends and their parents. If the woman or child moved away, strenuous efforts were made to send them "back home".

In posher families it was more important to secure an heir. I was given to understand, by a historian, that this led to an extended betrothal/engagement before marriage. The idea was that, once betrothed, the couple were expected to sleep together, and only get married once the woman was pregnant. If she didn't become pregnant, it would have been assumed to be "her fault" and the betrothal terminated. The offence of "breach of promise" was devised to assess a monetary value for compensating the woman, as she was no longer likely to marry.

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Uschi » Tue Oct 19, 2021 12:22 am

My maternal grandfather was to marry the daughter of a well-to-do farmer, so the two farms would prosper even more. He had other ideas though, and when he got his childhood sweetheart into trouble, he ran off to Bremen to find work and send her the money for the ticket. They managed to get married there in time, but the little girl died soon after birth. It was a good decision. They were fond of each other until the end.

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Rainbow » Tue Oct 19, 2021 12:46 am

Stokey Sue wrote:Cohabitation was neve criminalised in England, it was left to the church to police it, and I'm quite shocked to discover it was illegal in Germany in the second half or the 20th century, the things the state thinks they should interfere in are astonishing

I was surprised to hear that, too, Sue!

scullion wrote:we have been 'living without a licence' for about forty years.
i think over 25% of all couples are now cohabiting - not considered such a sin maybe?
if we married tomorrow it would be a surprise if we got to our twenty fifth anniversary!

We have been living together for about 45 years with no intentions of getting a licence :lol:
I think there were a few raised eyebrows when I got pregnant and still didn't get married - people thought I'd want the 'security' of marriage!
Having been divorced once I really couldn't see that!!

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby aero280 » Tue Oct 19, 2021 12:58 am

Some of you might get to a second silver wedding!! :D

How long will you live?

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulation ... 2015-09-09

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby Stokey Sue » Tue Oct 19, 2021 2:09 am

Earthmaiden wrote:
Stokey Sue wrote: the things the state thinks they should interfere in are astonishing

Surely the main reason that marriage was so important was that any resulting children of a married couple would be legitimate which meant the father could more easily be held responsible for the upkeep of the child. Thus the State took a keen interest so that they didn't have to fork out (and it was all conveniently tied up with religious morals in the way we are aware) for a fatherless child. An illegitimate child and the question of who would support it was still a big issue right up until the 1990s when the way society worked, changed.

I was fascinated, when looking through some old court records from the area of Scotland my ancestors are from in the 1700s, to see that every other case was regarding getting some chap to pay for the result of his romp (and there were often full details of where the romping took place!). Whilst no-one would wish the unmarried mother and child of today to suffer as previous generations did, it does cost the State quite a bit these days.

I don’t think criminalisation of unmarried couples sharing a home has much to do with child support, actually making them criminals, as you saw plenty of children, including my grandpa in 1885, were born outside wedlock without actual cohabitation; surely sharing a home makes it rather easy to trace paternity and the resulting child is more likely than not to be acknowledged by the father?
It may be quite a lot to do with property (think of the various married women’s property acts in England).

In France and Britain it wasn’t illegal, though obviously frowned on, so not all governments of broadly similar countries found it necessary. In France children are added to the marriage certificate of the parents which becomes the livret de famille, a sort of log book of the couple’s family life, and while it can be awkward not to be able to demonstrate you appear in one as the child of a marriage, it’s not required though administratively difficult. I had to produce V’s mother’s livret to register his death with the French Consulate (we had it as he was an only child)

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Re: Wild about Chatter ... Vol. 10

Postby mistakened » Tue Oct 19, 2021 7:02 am

Good Morning Campers, we had asparagus last night, there was so much that I kept some back to make an Asparagus Tart for tonight.


Moira :mug:

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