View topic - IT'S HERE!!!!!!!

by **dennispc** » Tue Dec 15, 2020 10:49 pm

karadekoolaid wrote:
So if you fed them baked beans for a week, would they be able to fly?

A tail wind would certainly help.

by **Grasshopper** » Tue Dec 15, 2020 11:50 pm

Goodwill And Custard!!

Condiments of the seasoning!

It's Day 15!!! My, we are getting through them, aren't we?

So ........

WHAT'S BEHIND THE DOOR TODAY????

Let's see, shall we? *opens door*

Did You Know that the average supermarket contains enough food to keep you alive for 55 years, or 63 years if you don't mind eating pet food?

That is mind-boggling! :shock:

'Till next time!!!

by **aero280** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:18 am

But how long would it take to get through the booze?

I might have to cut it with a bit of perfume and car de-icer to make last ...

by **Hickybank** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:58 am

And just think of the Morrisons more points you would earn :lol:

by **Grasshopper** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 10:12 am

Goodwill And Custard!!!

It's Day 16! (and it's an early one today!)

So ......

WHAT'S BEHIND THE DOOR TODAY???

*opens door*

Did You Know that the first person to smoke in Europe was sent to prison for being possessed by the Devil?

A touch drastic, methinks! :shock:

'Till next time!!!

by **Earthmaiden** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 11:04 am

Not sure why, but immediately thought of that old joke:

"Do you mind if I smoke?".

"I don't care if you burst into flames!".

When I first met ex OH he used to use that reply to people - and I thought it was funny :oops:

.

by **Seatallan** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 11:57 am

Or the variation:

Do you smoke after making love?
I don't know- I've never looked...

by **Hickybank** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 1:13 pm

Seatallan wrote:Or the variation:

Do you smoke after making love?
I don't know- I've never looked...
Followed by

Morning Bill, where the missus.
Morning Bert Oh I have left her smoking in bed
Lucky bugger, can't even get mine in the mood for it

by **jeral** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 1:37 pm

Talking of Europe, perhaps a peace pipe for Brexit negotiators? Or a hallucinogenic one, that Amero Indians use, for Johnson to give him some much needed future vision?

by **Seatallan** » Wed Dec 16, 2020 4:23 pm

Hickybank wrote:
Seatallan wrote:Or the variation:

Do you smoke after making love?
I don't know- I've never looked...
Followed by

Morning Bill, where the missus.
Morning Bert Oh I have left her smoking in bed
Lucky bugger, can't even get mine in the mood for it

by **karadekoolaid** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 2:52 am

James I imposed a 4,000% tax on the imports of tobacco from Virginia.
Edward VII broke the Victorian ban on smoking when he became King. " Gentlemen, you may smoke"
Churchill and King George VI went to Cuba before the 2nd World War and (apparently) ordered 10,000 of their favourites.

by **Grasshopper** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:05 am

Goodwill And Custard!!!

It's Day 17!!!!

So ........

WHAT'S BEHIND THE DOOR TODAY????

Let's see, shall we? *opens door*

Did You Know that pheasants will stop attacking each other if given spectacles?

I wonder if they get them from Specsavers.

'Till next time!!

by **Hickybank** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:47 am

Grasshopper wrote:Goodwill And Custard!!!

It's Day 17!!!!

So ........

WHAT'S BEHIND THE DOOR TODAY????

Let's see, shall we? *opens door*

Did You Know that pheasants will stop attacking each other if given spectacles?

I wonder if they get them from Specsavers.

'Till next time!!

]

Do the still fight if fitted with contact lens or do they fit them with non contact lenses

by **karadekoolaid** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 7:07 pm

I´m not a pheasant plucker,
I´m a pheasant plucker´s son.
My pheasants don´t get glasses
Till the fight is almost done.
:gonzo

by **Hickybank** » Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:22 pm

karadekoolaid wrote:I´m not a pheasant plucker,
I´m a pheasant plucker´s son.
My pheasants don´t get glasses
Till the fight is almost done.

by **Grasshopper** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 10:09 am

Goodwill And Custard!!!!

It's Day 18!!

Not many doors left now.

So .......

WHAT'S BEHIND THE DOOR TODAY??

*opens door*

Now, this IS an interesting one!

Did You Know that William Buckland was expelled from the shrine of St. Rosalia, patron saint of Palermo, Italy, for pointing out that her bones were actually those of a GOAT?

BIG difference there!!!!!

'Till next time!

by **Hickybank** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:04 am

Grasshopper wrote:Goodwill And Custard!!!!

It's Day 18!!

Not many doors left now.

So .......

WHAT'S BEHIND THE DOOR TODAY??

*opens door*

Now, this IS an interesting one!

Did You Know that William Buckland was expelled from the shrine of St. Rosalia, patron saint of Palermo, Italy, for pointing out that her bones were actually those of a GOAT?

BIG difference there!!!!!

'Till next time!

Your kidding me :lol:

by **Earthmaiden** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:11 am

perhaps if our local MP, Robert Buckland called his more senior female constituents old goats he could also be expelled :lol:

(not sure if old goat or crone sounds best even though the latter is not strictly derogatory).

by **scullion** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:59 am

Grasshopper wrote:Did You Know that William Buckland was expelled from the shrine of St. Rosalia, patron saint of Palermo, Italy, for pointing out that her bones were actually those of a GOAT?
!

is that what comes from having a nanny state?

by **Badger's Mate** » Fri Dec 18, 2020 12:39 pm

He must have thought they were silly billies

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