Terrible cooks

[Binky Profile]

We have had almost three weeks with an American couple staying as guests at our house.

To our great surprise, the wife did not know how to cook. These are not newly weds, but a couple in their early seventies.

I was becoming frazzled with cooking and catering, chauffeuring and tour-guiding, so asked them to at least make their own breakfasts. She couldn't even cook an egg - poached, boiled or fried!

Have you ever come across anyone totally clueless about cooking? The lack of curiousity about food and it's preparation was a real shock to me.

[Joanbunting Profile]

Been there got the teeshirt! AND the most clueless were also American. Couldn't you just put out some cereal, rolls and preserves and show them where the kettle is - and probably how it works.

Under such circumstances I also arrange a couple of meals out and hope they offer to pay. If they don't they don't get invited back

Being a good guest is a matter of good manners isn't it?

[Lusciouslush Profile]

Poor You Binky - I know how shattering that can be - you can't even go home & just relax - you're always 'on parade' - hope you're having a good rest up now.

I have met some people like that - not at that age tho' - I had a cousin who came to stay & he just sat there in the kitchen until I came downstairs in the mornings - didn't even put the kettle on!!!
And I have a friend who thinks cooking is all about opening packets or sloshing tinned sauces over a breast of chicken, all convenience foods - plus she's a nightmare to cook for - no wheat, potatoes, etc. I do wonder how they get thro' life!

I have a neighbour who spent £35-000 on a new kitchen & wouldn't know what to do with a saucepan if it hit her in the face!

[Stokey Sue Profile]

I’m intrigued now

What do they have for breakfast at home? Did you find out? Or do they just go to a coffee shop?

Must have been exhausting though Binky

[Gillthepainter Profile Website]

Yes, I have it a bit in my family, although they are hearty eaters.
My middle sister, is very big. And her idea of her turn to cook is bachelors rice and bacon bits.

The plus is, they think I'm an unbelievably good cook - which by comparison I am.

My oldest sister has a visitor every Christmas for 5 days.
Who cannot peel a carrot. But she's hard work to cook for simply because she's a lazy cow. Anyone passing, she asks for them to top up her wine usually. Or get her a cup of tea.
Or take her dog out for a walk.
She actually ruins Christmas for them all, but they've been doing it for her for over 20years. And changing things now is difficult for them.

[Suffs Profile]

We once house sat for someone we knew .. she didn't even have a cooker in the house ... only a microwave ... and square black crockery which didn't seem to invite proper food to be placed on it.

[Binky Profile]

We have known these people for over 25 years, but have never thought about their cooking abilities before. The husband seems to do all the catering at home, to his taste and to his timetable, and usually after a couple of cocktails. Which means if he cooks for you, you will not be fed before 8pm at the earliest. Wife prides herself on being 'professional' and earning the family crust, and does not sully her hands with housework or cookery.

And I absolutely agree that being a guest in someone's home is a matter of good manners. They didn't want to rent a car, expected us to ferry them around, we shared restaurant expenses (fair enough, I didn't expect them to foot the bills), and when I suggested diplomatically that they take public transport into the nearest town or London even (we live 35 minutes on the train from our town to London), they said they weren't interested and went back to their iPads and Faceache nonsense. Never again!

[jeral Profile]

As a very young child I heard of a charity that provided homes for "distressed gentlefolk" who were truly so accustomed to having everything, I mean everything, done for them that they were genuinely lost when that scenario became not so.

I decided as a child that of course I would become a distressed gentlefolk. Something must have gone seriously wrong along the way By choice really, not being one to sit around.

Joanbunting has a point though, in that you just have to set rules, i.e. I'll do this and that; the rest is up to you.

[Wic Profile]

Guests! Sometimes ...

We have just had a visitation. They had all sorts of food fads which we didn’t know about before, but kept saying whatever it was put before them was fine. We never knew whether it was OK or not.

The other thing, and now I’m just being selfish and complaining, was that one of them got out of the car talking and didn’t pause for breath till she got back into it when they left. We both felt battered, we aren’t used to it. I contemplated fainting, just to get away!

[Alexandria Profile]

Never happen .. I do not believe in complicating my life or the life of my dear .. Sounds like a few Soap Operas !

The only time we have a guest, is when my Mom comes down to Barcelona for 3 days & 2 nights to do some shopping and see some old Friends of her´s or my sons and my 2 grandsons. And it is usually for a weekend ..

They are more than welcomed and they never out wear their stay ..


Terrible cooks ? We all grew up in the hospitality sector, so no one is a terrible cook in the family ..


Have a lovely weekend ahead ..

[Stokey Sue Profile]

The saying is that guests and fish both stink after three days

[Alexandria Profile]

Sue, Right on 100% !

[Gillthepainter Profile Website]

Well Binky.
Now you know, you have all the power over them.
Do you think they went home thinking it was a fantastic stay?

I don't mind that people don't cook. Not everyone is even interested in eating.
But that isn't what the problem is here. When they want you to be their maker and server, and run around for them, that's very different.

I could sense there was an issue when we went to a French b&b.
He'd cooked duck, where Tony doesn't eat duck. And I was told a couple of times as soon as we arrived - but not Tony - that I should have let them know.
I informed them that Tony would be happy just not eat it at all.
Or just vegetables, he doesn't care for food.

There actually wasn't any problem to report to them prior. Plus they didn't ask and really wanted pliantly eating guests.

[Joanbunting Profile]

I love having house guests but only well behaved ones We tell everyone who comes for the first tiem that, as there is no public transport they will need to hire a car. which we offer to arrange for them.

I always ask about food preferences/ needs and then after that tell them in advance what they are getting that day though inevitably I'll offer something they don't do - often things like goat's cheese or other local products, like olives Quite often though it's because they have never tried them and with encouragement they do.

The only other thing is I refuse to make tea for anyone to guests are shown where the tea, cups and teapot are and they are told to help themselves with the added instruction to wash the pot out afterwards and not leave teabags around.

If they are as difficult as yours were Binky, they don't get asked back. Having said that there are only a very few, one of them however is persuing me at the minute to be invited and I'm running out of polite excuses so maybe will have to resort to direct refusal.

[Gillthepainter Profile Website]

Talking of no transport.
I don't know if you use the garden centre in your next village along. But they were marvellous in there giving us directions for the last 3K.
So memorably friendly.

[Joanbunting Profile]

That would be M Appi Gill. How well named is he? His sister lived in our Hameau and he is known by and knows everyone. The joys of country living!!
PS we also have M Jolli and M Gay at the garage

[Renee Profile]

That really made me giggle Joan!

Oh Binky, I really feel for you. It will have been the longest three weeks of your life.

Gill I feel so sorry for your poor sister having to put up with that person. I would definitely stop it happening and make some excuse, especially as it spoils Christmas for everyone.

[karadekoolaid Profile]

The saying is that guests and fish both stink after three days

that made me laugh out loud!

[Gillthepainter Profile Website]

Hehehe.

Does Mr Sneezi work at the local pharmacy?

My oldest sister isn't a terrible cook - she's a comfort cook, roast dinners, stews that sort of thing.
But she will start to put the chicken on at 8pm.
You don't get to eat until 10 or 11.

It drives my BIL potty. And we cannot wait that long - nobody can really, so we start snacking.

I tend to cook when I go to her house to stop this problem, and I send everyone out to the pub. And will pop down for a drinkie myself when all is ready, to bring them all back to the food.
Never cook whilst drinking myself, although some cooks like to pour a glass while they are in the kitchen.

[Badger's Mate Profile]

some cooks like to pour a glass while they are in the kitchen.

I used to be like that. Nowadays I try to make sure all is prepped and pretty much done before I start. If it's just the two of us and something simple I might have a beer as I go along. With guests I try to get ahead so I can spend some time with them rather than being a recluse in the kitchen.

At Christmas, with people staying, I have to do a lot in the kitchen, but try to have pretty much finished the tricky stuff by the time the fizz is opened...